Easily offended?

I'm usually not offended by what people say. After all, I've dished out my share of socially awkward comments (The worst: "You sure look different all glammed up!" I still cringe about how I could say something so thoughtless, and to my friend's mother! Later I cried and cried about it.). But this week I've been offended on two different occasions. Maybe I'm becoming more sensitive, or maybe I just ran across two especially insensitive people in a seven-day period. I hope that these give you a laugh.

1. Yesterday I got a phone call at 9 a.m. (when, incidentally, I was just beginning to teach a lesson on forests to seven preschoolers).

"Does your husband drive a little red sports car?"

"Yes, he does."

"Did he leave about 15 minutes ago?"

At this point I'm thinking that Eric has either been in a car accident or run over someone's cat. Either way, my heart rate is rising.

"Yes, he did. What's wrong?"

"Well, I thought that was him. Amy, he just cut me off."

"Oh. He did? Oh, I'm so sorry. That's...awful."

At this point, I get a five-minute lecture about how cutting people off causes accidents and how Eric should be careful when he's driving near people with children in their cars.

Give.

Me.

A.

Break.

Caller, I'm offended that you 1) criticized my husband and 2) interrupted my day with something so minor. My mom suggested that I should have given the woman Eric's cell phone number (why am I in charge of making him behave on the road?).

2. Two days ago I got an email from a former classmate at the U who was looking for a roommate. She listed her qualifications for an "ideal roommate" as follows: "clean, funny, financially solvent, not LDS, and kind-of hippie, into composting and recycling and stuff. Interest in outdoors a plus."

Now it boggles my mind why someone would send such an email to an entire listserv (especially one that regularly celebrates non-discrimination) that essentially says, "Of all the groups of people in the world, I would not want to live with someone of your faith." Imagine--just imagine!--that the email had read, "not Muslim," "not black," or "not gay." The ACLU would be knocking down her bigoted door before she could scream "tolerance." I've known quite a few LDS people in my life, and I think that they are generous, good people. But even if this woman can't stand the LDS standards and ideology, I can think of a lot of groups of people that would be much worse to live with. Terrorists, for one. Pyromaniacs. Ah, kleptomaniacs. Either way, she should have just requested an "alcohol-friendly" roommate. The term would effectively weed out active LDS while avoiding offense to an entire religious group.

I think that I'm over both of these things now. Let it roll off your back, like water off a duck, right? Actually, I'm in a great mood right now, because I just discovered Oral-B Superfloss, which has a rigid end to go under my permanent retainer. Ever since I saw a poster of a smiling Jerry Seinfield on my childhood dentist's door that read "FLOSS DAILY," I've aspired to be a daily flosser, but those retainers sure make it hard. So now I think that I really can floss daily, not every other day, or every day that I feel up to it. And while I'm doing it, I'll try not to think about rudeness, because really, who are those comments affecting anyway? I can assure you that neither of the above offenders have thought twice about what they've said. So I guess that I won't either.