Do I look fat to you?

Q: Uh, Amy, have you been gaining weight?

A: Are you kidding me? Four pounds? You can tell? 

Q: Any other symptoms?

A: Nauseua, fatigue, lower abdominal pain, amenorrhea.

Q: Hang on! Are you pregnant?

A: Yes!

Q: Don't you have a five-, three-, and one-year-old?

A: Yes.

Q: And isn't your husband starting his residency program this year?

A: Uh, yes.

Q: Are you nuts?

A: I hope not!

Q: Any chance that this one will be a girl?

A: Maybe! I once met a woman in the ultrasound waiting room who wore pink underwear for weeks before her ultrasound date in hopes of getting a girl. I thought about that, but I don't really wear pink underwear (or blue, for that matter). But I do have a purple snowsuit, some Mary Janes, and some hairbows just in case we have a girl. 

Q: What about that marathon you've been training for?

A: I asked, and the OB advised against it (although many women have done it before). Next year!

Q: When's this baby coming?

A: Late August.

Q: Do you have any pregnancy superpowers?

A: Yes! I can smell anything disgusting within a five-mile radius.

Q: What is your favorite thing to eat while you're pregnant?

A: There are a few choice foods that don't bother me. Dryer's lemonade bars are sure sweetening my life right now. And last night I ate half of a jar of Claussen pickles. 

Q: What have your children been eating while you've felt so sick?

A: Very nutritious things.

Q: Like what?

A: Rice Krispies, an entire box of Costco Quaker oatmeal packets, and some popsicles.

Q: What have your children been doing while you've been sick all day long?

A: Puzzles, books, sitting on me and yelling, "Wake up, Mom, it's morning time!" I was very proud of myself for organizing this activity, which allowed me to lie on the ground while the kids got some exercise:

 

Q: Are you excited?

A: Of course! These kids are Eric's and my greatest joys, and we can't wait to meet this next little Brinton.

Birthday Boys

When Jacob tells people that he and Zachary share January 26th as a birthday, he always adds "and we're not even twins!" They are best friends, however, and they love celebrating their birthdays together each year on "brothers day." They were especially thrilled that they could stay up to eat cake with Eric, who flew in from PA late last night (yay!). To celebrate the brothers, enjoy some favorite quotations and pictures from 2008:

Zachary, on food: "I don't like chicken rolls. They have poison." and, when asked his favorite dinner, "Ah! Popsicles!"

Jacob, on food: "I don't want that milk. It tastes like it's been out a night and a day." and "Everything you cook I think is yucky. That's why I want to eat Rice Krispies all the time." and, after eating an overdone cookie, "Mom, do cookies sometimes taste like bricks?"

Zachary: "Jacob is five." Amy: "Not quite." Zachary: (yelling) "NOT QUIET!"

Jacob: "What is a cemetery?" A: "It's a place where people's bodies are buried." J: (wide-eyed) "Then where are their heads buried?"

Zachary: (as I was washing his hair in the bathroom sink) "I'm suffering." And after I laughed, "I don't like suf-fer-ing."

Jacob, on women's roles: "Mom, does the daddy protect the family and the mom does all the other work?" and "Is a father just a son who a mom [pointing to Amy] takes care of?" and, my favorite, "Mom, if there is a thing that makes you to be stressed out, then don't do that thing."

Zachary: "I can't find the tape to glue Michael's head to the couch!"

Questions from Jacob: 

1. "Is one hour half of two hours?"

2. "Is an airplane stronger than gravity?"

3. "When were grapes invented?"

4. "Is apatosaurus the biggest plant-eating dinosaur?"

5. "Did Adam and Eve invent houses?"

6. "Who discovered clothes?"

7. (getting out of bed at 10 p.m. to ask) "Are there no jellyfish in Lake Powell?"

8. "Are dollars that green cash?"

Zachary, when asked his favorite thing to do: "Fun."

Jacob, as disciplinarian: "If I don't have macaroni and cheese, then I won't go to bed. If you give me some macaroni, then I will go to bed." and, to Aunt Kim, "You're going to be sent to a different town if you tickle me again!" and, to Michael, "If you color my pages, I'm going to be very disappointed."

Zachary, on his favorite cereal: "My check fell!" (referring to a single piece of Chex cereal), and when asked if he wanted Chex after a rough morning, "No. I just want to cry about Chex!"

Jacob, on his faith: "Everyone knows that The Book of Mormon is nonfiction!" and "Everyone gets older...so I might be the prophet?"

Zachary, on his energy level: "I'm out of batteries."

Jacob, on the difference between boys and girls: "Girls just like pretending they're princesses or queens, but boys like all kinds of things to do, like soccer, pretending they're different stuff, do Brain Quest, and playing in the snow, and learning about the states and they learn about geography, and going skiing, and hit home runs and play trains or plant a seed or help a tree grow, or go on a date with dad or with mom...I don't know how many things there are for a boy to do!"

Zachary, who loves to sing: "Head, shoulders, Jesus toes, Jesus toes, Jesus toes..."

Herbivorous

Last evening Jacob ran in the kitchen to ask, "Can we heat some broccoli for dinner?" Unfortunately we were out of broccoli, so he asked if we had any peas or corn or "just things that come from plants."

     I never thought that I would raise a vegan, especially after my own failed attempt at vegetarianism in the seventh grade (my week-long stint ended with mom's "hamburgersonthegrill"). Yet here he was, asking for only plant food.

     "O.K. We'll have corn."

     "Good! I'm a brachiosaurus."

The boys' fascination with herbivorous dinosaurs began with the book Maxium Triceratops, in which chapter two explains why Triceratops could actually defeat T-rex and consequently proves the physical superiority of the herbivorous. Now I don't want to knock Dr. Bakker's theory, but we all know that meat-eaters are at the top of the food chain. I mean, let's take Weird Al (vegan) and Mr. T (omnivorous). Whose side of the ring would you rather be on?

    Anyway, I don't think that I have to worry about any protein deficiencies yet. After building an Apatosaurus den and sleeping in it last night, the boys woke up as Antarctic explorers. Now they're running around shouting about rescue missions and penguins.

Found it!

For the last week, I have been searching the house for my kitchen rug, and this morning I found it in an obscure dresser drawer. Finding the rug has helped me realize one reason why it's difficult to keep things in order around here: everyone has a different idea about the proper place to put things! Observe:

 

parmesan cheese and forks sprinkled in the spaghetti sauce, 

an assortment of cars and trucks parked on the piano,
a few cupfuls of milk dumped in the flower vase,

a half-eaten lunch settled under the kitchen table, and, my favorite,

the basketball dunked in the toilet. 

And these things are why a woman's work, as they say, is never done.

P.S. For the sake of my pride, I have to mention that not all of these pictures were taken on the same day, or even on the same week for that matter. I have a strict standard that I don't let anything disgusting stick around for more than a couple hours.

Match Day!

Today is the day we've been waiting for: Match Day! Eric found out this morning that he matched at one of his top choices for an ophthalmology residency program. Any guesses? Here's a clue:

OK, another:
Yes! We're going to Madison, Wisconsin! We're all thrilled, and the boys are already making plans for some serious igloo-building. His training there will begin in July 2010, after a one-year internship program (we'll find out about the internship match in March).

Igloo Campout

About a week ago, via youtube, we watched an adept pair of Canadian Eskimos construct an igloo. Their structure, built in about an hour with only a "snow knife," warmed to over 50 degrees inside. Our structure, built over a period of four days with a Tupperware container, a saw, and a shovel, warmed enough to convince Eric that a campout was in order. So on Friday night (with an outdoor temperature of 22 degrees!), Eric and the two older boys proved their manliness by actually sleeping all night long in it. Now I'm certain that neither of the boys has inherited my Texan aversion to all things freezing! I attached the final picture to show that I braved a ski trip with Jacob and Eric the next day, when I mentioned at least five and a half times about how inconvenient it is that such a fun sport has to be in such unpleasant weather. The igloo's still up if anyone's got an itch for a fun campout. And who knows? Maybe I'll buck up and spend a night out there! 

Some Righteous Tunes

While I run, I usually listen to General Conference on my ipod. Working out the spirit and body, you know? This morning, however, I accidently chose the "shuffle" option and ended up with "Kim's Party Mix," which included the inspiring the rhythms of NKOTB and the like. 

Now here's the moral dilemma: through the use of Nike+ technology, I discovered that I shaved 27 seconds off my mile time with the new playlist. Am I still a good person if I start listening to 90s dance music? Wasn't M.C. Hammer a preacher or something?

Jacob's Resolutions

On Thursday we all wrote down our New Year's resolutions. Here were Jacob's:

He's been working on his first goal every day this week. And that's what I love about Jacob--he's pure moxie! We'll have to see about the other two.